Self-Respect

Self-Respect The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others - who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has nothing to do with reputation, which, as Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara, is something people with courage can do without. ~Joan Didion, author of a Star is Born, winner of the National Book Award.   Self-respect is not easily achieved, because all around us we are barraged with stimuli telling us how great or worthless we are. The fact is, without self-respect, what others think consumes us. When we understand, love, and care for ourselves, and in turn our storytelling, we then have the mental maturity to sift through the judgment of others . . . picking and choosing which judgment is worth listening to. In this business, we get kicked around enough without doing it to ourselves. When I read on Facebook the comments in writers groups, where writers are depressed, wondering if they ought to keep writing because they cant make money, make sales, or receive glowing reviews, I feel sorry for them. Not for the reasons they express, but for their lack of self-respect. They are screaming it. When someone is self-assured, they are a magnet for others. After all, most people dont feel good about themselves, and they gravitate to those who do. When we are not shackled That doesnt mean we dont make mistakes. Frankly, the main reason writers self-publish is to own all the responsibility. That means they accept the responsibility for all that goes well and all that fails, both of which are good. Both of which make us stronger. We did it. We own it. We do what we want and accept the fallout or glory. To accept without placing blame on others is the epitome of self-respect. So write. Publish whichever way you like. If a choice fails you, avoid pointing the finger at anyone other than ones self. Analyze what happened and launch into another direction, wiser and stronger. To blame others means you struggle to look at yourself in the mirror. Once you get past that obstacle, you can do damn near anything you want because nobody is in your way. You do, adjust, do, adjust, until you are the grandest being, in love with who you are and what you do. Doors open to people like that, because people want to be you.